What If Blessed Is Not What You Think

You can hit the goal, buy the thing, fix the schedule, even get your spouse to change a little and still feel that ache that nothing seems to touch. We start a brand-new series called The Bible for Marriage by naming that restless pursuit for what it is: chasing a cloud. Instead of adding more self-help noise, we go straight to God’s Word as the only true source for an abundant life and a biblically healthy marriage. From there, we open Matthew 5 and slow down over the Beatitudes, the opening of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. “Blessed” isn’t a vague religious word. It carries the idea of “oh, how happy,” and Jesus attaches real promises to each statement: comfort, satisfaction, seeing God, being called children of God, and the kingdom of heaven. We also talk honestly about why these verses can feel distant or discouraging when we read them too fast or only see our failures. We unpack the Beatitudes as a refining process that touches three relationships at once: our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with God, and our relationship with others, including our spouse. We walk through the “emptying” of being poor in spirit, mourning over sin, and learning meekness from Jesus, then we turn to the filling that comes from hungering and thirsting for righteousness. Finally, we connect mercy, purity of heart, peacemaking, and even persecution to what it looks like to live out faith inside a real home with real conflict. If this encouraged you, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who needs hope for their marriage, and leave a review so more couples can find biblical marriage help.

Transcript

Welcome And Mission Of Vows

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Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers. The mission of Vows to Keep is to help couples develop a biblically healthy marriage through the application of God's Word and a deeper relationship with Him. They desire to help you and your spouse grow closer to each other and closer to the heart of God's design for your marriage. Now, here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast.

Why A Bible For Marriage Series

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We are David and Tracy Sellers, and we have made Vows to Keep. We're super excited today because we're going to be beginning a new series. In this series, we're titling The Bible for Marriage. No, we're not writing a book that you could pick up online. It's not like the book that I've been looking for, the handbook for new pilots. I still want to be a new pilot soon. Or maybe the ultimate guide for travel, maybe all of the things that you could ever know about barbecue. Nope, we're not writing a new guidebook. Yes, we're gonna be talking about the most important earthly relationship, your marriage. But anything on Vows to Keep Radio that we could tell you from our own advice would either be one of two things. It would be our own personal opinion, or it'd be advice based on something good or bad that we had heard from somewhere else. And that wouldn't be a broadcast worth listening to. You've already got too much of that kind of self-help type stuff going through your head. So that's why on Vows to Keep Radio, you hear us getting down to business. We do our best to rightly divide the word of truth. We want to get to the heart of the matter with you and with your spouse. And we can only do that if we go directly to God's word for the source of everything that there is to know about life. So in this Bible for marriage series, we're literally going to be talking about how the Bible, the only source of truth, applies to your marriage. In this series, we're going to be looking at the Sermon on the Mount and what it has to teach you about your heart and your marriage. We're going to be studying in this series the Ten Commandments, the fruit of the Spirit, the miracles of Jesus, and the Great Commandment, and along with other things. Nothing but God's word will answer the most pressing questions. Nothing but God's word will satisfy that longing that's with inside of us that we sometimes even can't put our finger on.

Chasing Happiness Never Satisfies

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I think every new year, people do try to put their finger on that thing they think is missing from their life. Sometimes I've done that, David. Sometimes I've made a New Year's resolution and then I've made it the thing that I chase after. We're determined that we're going to do something better, like getting a handle on our diet and exercise or our finances, or maybe even having a healthier marriage. Or maybe it's that we just want to do something new. We want to start a new hobby. We want to take out flying lessons, right, David? We want to volunteer more or save money, whatever that new thing is. So we've got this goal set, and then we plow ahead with determination with all our might, setting out to make ourselves happy, setting out to meet that goal. And in the end, we find that even if we obtain that elusive resolution that not very many people get to, it's not dissimilar to trying to nail down a cloud in the sky.

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You're talking the fluffy stuff.

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Yeah, you know, those clouds, they can get pretty close to the ground, you know, in the form of fog, but they become like a mist that vanishes at the first touch. Now it's not the turn of the new year right now, but deep inside you, there's still that desire to open the junk drawer, grab the hammer and nails, and head outside to capture that elusive cloud you're after.

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All the stuff that we want that we can never seem to get our hands on. We're told by our sinful desires, our media, our friends, even our well-meaning husband or wife, what is going to make our little life happy? What's going to make it blessed, blissful, even utopic? But then as hard as we try, those things just seem to be right out of reach, like trying to nail down that cloud.

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Solomon, who had everything this world could offer, read about it sometime in God's word. He had similar feelings to this. He says in Ecclesiastes 2 11, I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and striving after the wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. So where have you found this to be true in your life?

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Where have you strived in your marriage, in your own effort, and just found it to be totally unfruitful?

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Maybe you've even taken the advice to heart that you need to make yourself happy first, and then you'll be a good wife. Or maybe you've resolved that your happiness actually depends on someone else, like your spouse. You've thought, okay, if only I could have a husband who did A, B, or C for me. Or maybe if I only had a husband who didn't do A, B, or C, that's when I'd be happy. That's when I'd be satisfied. If only my kids didn't disobey me so much, I would be happy.

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If only my cars would hold together and not need so much maintenance.

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Well, I think Solomon sums it up well for us in this verse that I just read to you. When we pursue us, it is dissatisfying. Evenings become about satiating an unnamed desire as we stare at the TV or the iPad screen for hours, as if something that's contained there is gonna fill us up. It never does. Mornings are filled with the dread of the day ahead and the alarm clock. It's really got its work cut out for it. That poor thing, that poor thing gets practically smacked on the head every single day of its life, right? 6 a.m.

The Sermon On The Mount Begins

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BAM. The Bible, however, tells us there's more to life than just simply existing through the doldrums, hoping for some kind of change that ultimately satisfies God's word is our guide to the abundant life.

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The kind of life where at the end of the day our head hits a pillow, but we've got a deep, abiding joy inside. It's a peace. The kind of life where getting up in the morning isn't like a chore where you're dreading it, but you see new morning mercies and fresh grace to live within God's amazing will for your life. What it really boils down to is what are we worshiping in our hearts and our heads? What are the things that has got your attention today? What will you do today that will be about trying to please you? What will you do today that will be about trying to please God or maybe seek his glory? Because answering that question tells you so much about where your joy comes from. It's all so flip-flop from what the world will tell us. It's absolutely upside down. We believe naturally that everything that we've been told about pursuing our own happiness is right. Fortunately, Jesus tells us the truth. He points out in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter five that his upside down, backwards, inside out kingdom is what will satisfy. We can't wait to dive into these truths with you in this broadcast and the subsequent ones that we're going to follow in this series.

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David, this is maybe obvious to point out, but the sermon on the mount is called that because literally it was a sermon given on a mountain. There you go.

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I can picture it.

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In Matthew chapter four, right before this, Jesus is just beginning teaching people about the kingdom of God. He's teaching about repentance. And I think it's no mistake that this three-chapter message from Jesus begins with this little list, 12 verses long, that we're going to be focusing on today. It's called the Beatitudes.

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That is a big word. What does Beatitude mean?

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It's really quite simple. Beatitude actually means blessed. Pretty simple, right? These are the blessed are they verses that we've heard in Sunday school or maybe memorized for a class. We've got them printed on a bookmark in our Bible. We've probably even got a few of them actually memorized if we think about it long enough. And whenever I read through the Beatitudes, David, I tend to go through them really quickly. And their application either feels really far away from me, or I don't feel like I do a very good job in keeping them. But I think Jesus' intention of starting his teaching to us in this sermon goes far beyond just mere words that we need to rush through or even pointing out our flaws. So we're going to read them to you right now.

Reading The Beatitudes Aloud

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So let us do that quickly. And as you listen, I want you to listen for repeated themes and think of questions that come to your mind as you listen. Are you ready? Matthew chapter 5, starting in verse 2.

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Now, when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him and he began to teach them. He said, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted, and blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

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Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they'll be filled. Blessed are the merciful, because they will be shown mercy.

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And the last three blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God, and blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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Alright, so obviously we hear the word blessed at the beginning of each of these phrases. If you look at this word blessed in the Greek, it means, oh, how happy. So try this on for size. Oh, how happy are those who are merciful, who are pure, who are peacemakers.

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As I've read this passage through in the past, I've kind of skipped over that blessed part, thinking, okay, that's great to be blessed, just sort of in an arbitrary way. But as I look more carefully, I begin to notice how we're not just unspecifically or really vaguely blessed. There comes an exact blessing that comes with each beatitude, comfort, seeing God. We are called the children of God, and so on. These are the blessings. It might seem obvious, but I never really connected the two. And we're gonna dive into those individually in detail later on in this broadcast. So as I've read in the past, I've also really honed in on the things I'm not doing well. Like I'm not being very merciful right now, or pure or meek. And then there are those things I feel I just can't relate with. Like mourning, I haven't really lost someone dear to me recently. So I just kind of skip over that one or poor in spirit. Okay, what does that really even mean? Or being persecuted. Well, I don't really have a whole lot of that in my life. So what ends up happening is I read through the list, maybe feel a little disconnected, maybe feel a little bad about myself, and I move on to the next verses, or maybe I just shut my Bible all together. But God put this in here on purpose for you and I today. He had a plan for teaching these things to us. And there are many, many things to study here, but today we're gonna talk about three things that God wants to deal with in each of us in this

How The Beatitudes Are Structured

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passage. Number one, in context or in relation to ourselves. Number two, he wants to teach us about our relationship with him, and three, our relationship with others, including our spouses.

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Like Tracy said, with these verses, we can assess what it is that we pursue, what we worship, what we believe, and then how it's lived out in our lives on a practical level. Now there's eight beatitudes, and they can be broken down into four categories. The first three are like an emptying, really a surrendering. Next comes the answer to our longings, to our needs. And after we've been filled, come three ways that God works in our hearts to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives, something we all want. And then finally comes down to how are we going to handle the sin of other people. So let's start with the first three. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are those who mourn, and blessed are the meek.

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Let's jump into this first one.

Poor In Spirit And True Humility

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Poor in spirit. Let me read it to you from the Amplified Version. It says, blessed or spiritually prosperous, happy to be admired are the poor in spirit, those who are devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, both now and forever. See, this blessing takes us from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs at the first drop of faith we put in our Savior Jesus Christ. David, this is the best place to be, poor in spirit, because it's here where we recognize that we are bankrupt spiritually. And when we recognize that, we take a place of humility. We are literally crying out, God, you have got to help me. I need you to save me. And this is an all-important juncture in each of our lives. Are we going to choose at that moment to put our faith in Jesus Christ, going from wretched sinners to glorious sons and daughters of the Most High? Or are we going to try to figure this thing out for ourselves? When we choose God, when we choose Jesus, that's when he can promise us the kingdom of heaven. This beatitude really should cause all of us to examine where we're at before God. Is he our heavenly Father? Have we put our faith in his son Jesus? If you're not sure where you stand, take this moment to get your heart right before God. Now, if you know you've been saved by grace, Jesus is your Savior. This verse should cause you to want to examine where you're at and just get anything out in the open that's between you and God and between you and your spouse.

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We let our sin drive us away from the cross when it should be driving us to the cross. Because it says, Blessed are you if you stand before God poor in spirit in a decision of humility, just ready and willing to accept his grace and his mercy. And when you're able to see yourself as the recipient of God's amazing love shown through his son Christ Jesus, I believe that you're going to see yourself primed. You're going to see yourself as, yeah, maybe a sinner, maybe your spouse is a sinner in need of him just like you are, but a God who loves them, who wants to love them. But when you see that you're able to receive God's amazing love offered through his son Jesus Christ, everything should be different. You should be primed and ready, seeing your spouse is the sinner that they are in need just like you are of a God who loves them, who wants them, who would never turn away from them, no matter how they acted. But it's only then that we're able to be humble enough to admit that we need that kind of help, that we want that same kind of help for our husband or for our wife through us.

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That sin you see in yourself, the sin you see in your wife, your kids, your extended family, your coworkers, the sin you see on the news.

Mourn Sin And Find Comfort

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That brings us to verse four. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. See, the appalling condition of not only our own hearts without God, but also the state of our home and our world because of sin is gonna cause us to do one of two things. It's either gonna cause you to want to give up, stick your head in the sand, or even join in on the sin, or it's gonna cause you to run to God and take up his purpose and vision for his people and his creation. If you let your agony over sin take you to God's throne again and again, it's gonna turn your heart towards God. It's gonna teach you about him, it's gonna help you be an advocate for your spouse when they sin over and over again.

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What's interesting is that mess that exists between you and your spouse is not how God intended it to be. But of course, when we're in that position, we run from what God wants, that togetherness, that unity. Sin entered the world, and now we live with its consequences. And one of them is the isolation it creates in our marriage. But here's the blessing: we are just sojourners passing through this world with a purpose. This is not our home. One day it says in Revelation 21:4, God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. All will be restored. Praise God.

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And the third beatitude, this emptying, surrendering process goes like this: the meek will

Meekness As The Way Of Jesus

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inherit the earth. Now, meekness is not necessarily a personality trait, it is a God trait. Think of Matthew 11, 29, where Jesus says, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. He says, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle, I am meek, I am humble in heart, and you'll find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Jesus is saying here, look at what I do, and then go and do likewise. Hook up with me, be yoked with me, and learn how I treat people. He says, I'm not a doormat, so don't think you have to be, but let me teach you about who I am. His character here is key for us to understand. He is both meek as a lamb and mighty as a lion at the same time. He's humble and gentle when it comes to us, and he is a mighty warrior against evil and sin. Listen to this beatitude from the Amplified Version. It says, Blessed, inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect are the gentle, the kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled, for they will inherit the earth. Ephesians chapter four talks about putting off our old self, the one that's corrupted by evil desires, and to instead put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Yes, truly, blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Jesus is asking us here to put on the character that He has displayed for us, to put on meekness. See, it's in these first three beatitudes that we are emptied. And we're not being emptied so we can remain that way. It's so that we're ready for what's next. We're ready to be filled up to the brim with everything God is ready to pour out into us. And that's where we come to verse six.

Hunger For Righteousness And Satisfaction

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Verse six talks about the hunger and thirst for righteousness. For it's then we will be filled. This word filled means satisfied. And isn't that what we talked about earlier in the beginning of this broadcast? We are looking to be satisfied. We've just been going to the wrong place for it. If we read this verse in the Amplified Version, it says, blessed, joyful, nourished by God's goodness are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, those who actively seek that right standing with God, for they will be completely satisfied. And this is the kind of thirst that isn't just a one and done. This is a continual pursuit of everything God would offer, and nothing from anywhere else.

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David, when I was growing up, I used to hear this phrase quoted to me. Ready for it? Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good. I would like to heartily disagree with that statement right now. Our hearts and minds should be so seeking after God and setting our eyes on the things of the kingdom of God that nothing else would ever do. See, it's when we grow in grace and from glory to glory as we behold God that we are even more moldable clay in his hands. And it's then that he can use us more and more because we no longer stand in the way. It's when we hunger and thirst for righteousness that we'll be filled and we are ready to be used by God. So how is hunger and thirst for righteousness showing up in your house right now? How is hunger and thirst for righteousness being seen in your marriage?

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Is fulfilling your role in your marriage with joyous pursuit of visible goal in your life, or have you just given into disregarding it? Let me ask that in a different way. Are you satisfied with how God is loving your spouse through you? If not, pray today for God to give you a hunger and a thirst for all that He has for you and a complete distaste for everything of the world you might focus on instead.

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This is a really pivotal point in your marriage and in your life and in your home. Take some assessment of what you're listening to. Take some assessment of what you're watching on the screen, what you're allowing your kids to put in front of their eyes too. See, God is asking you to come out and be separate from the world so he can fill you to the full with himself.

Mercy Purity And Making Peace

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So as we wrap up this first installment in the series called The Bible for Marriage on Vowskeep Radio, I want to touch on the four final beatitudes. And this is found in verse seven, eight, nine, and ten. It says, Being merciful and shown mercy, being pure in heart and seeing God, being peacemakers who are called children of God, and being persecuted because of righteousness, and how that brings you to the kingdom of heaven. These final four beatitudes are a result of what happens when we've been emptied out, but then filled up again. So we're putting off our old nature and we're becoming more like Christ. We see he's merciful, and even though it isn't second nature for you and I, merciful means that maybe our spouse has failed miserably, and we don't dull out punishment on them in the form of like a cold shoulder or calling them an idiot or raising a voice because instead in our heart, in that moment, we remember how much mercy that we have received.

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The next one, David says, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Now, you and I, we aren't sinless, but we do stand before God, clothed in his righteousness. And in the meantime, while we're here on earth, we are being filled up every day as we read God's word. That's what's changing our desires to want to be holy and to pursue God, like it says in 1 Peter 1:16. See, we are seeing God work in our lives as we pursue him. We're noticing how he's ever present with us. We're seeing God at work in our spouse's life as well. And that's the blessing of a pure heart, one cleansed by the blood, one in pursuit of becoming like him. We see him at every turn. And then the next one, David says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. And as children of God, we are becoming more like him. We're growing in the fruits of the Spirit, and we're recognizing that God always deals with our sin. He never lets a sin go. He is the ultimate peacemaker. God has called you to see his world his way, to see your husband the way he sees him. Your sin, your spouse's sin should cause you to react. Never willing just to allow sin to rule your spouse, but stepping in, because a peacemaker is one who confronts sin. A peacemaker works to create peace.

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We should never make a handshake agreement with sin. It wants us to, right? It wants us to be sucked into it. But a godly person can't coexist with a sin that is just flaring up in their life. So if there's sin in your marriage and you're looking for peace without dealing with it first, that's not gonna work. Second Corinthians 5 20 is our commission. So we are Christ's ambassador, it reads. God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God. What a beautiful picture that paints. Yeah, we're not perfect. We don't come down to our spouse and say, Listen, you had better clean up your act. But we can do this. We can look to Galatians 6, verses 1 and 2. It says, Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by sin, what should you do? Well, you who are godly should gently and humbly Help that person back into the right path and then be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other's burdens and in this way obey the law of Christ. The reaction that you get from your spouse or anyone else is not likely to be a positive

Persecution Rewards Closing And Support

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one. But if you can come along as a peacemaker, you can help them grow in Christ. And you might actually see a little backlash from that. Because as verse 10 points out, we can be persecuted because of righteousness.

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But when we are, that's when our blessing is the kingdom of heaven. See, persecution can come when we challenge people in their faith, or maybe you're speaking to someone who isn't a Christian and you make them uncomfortable. Darkness always runs from light. You may be insulted when you confront sin, but the blessing is in verse 11. Great is your reward in heaven. In conclusion, today on Vows to Keep Radio, God wants to take you through this refining process that's laid out for us in the Beatitudes. Those first three that walk you through the emptying and surrendering process. Then verse four, where you are filled to the full as you hunger and thirst for righteousness, and then how to live out your faith in the final four Beatitudes.com. God has the best in mind for you, and he awaits eagerly to give you each one of these promises.

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So let's finish today by reading 1 Peter chapter 1. This is verse 3 and 4. It says, By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for a godly life. Is that something which you can see as you look at these Beatitudes? Our prayer for you is that you would not just glaze over these verses anymore in the future, that you would not just look at them with a hopelessness that you can't do what they're saying. In fact, God shows you exactly the cause and effect of being a follower of Him.

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And join us next week as we continue on Vows to Keep Radio in this series, The Bible for Marriage.

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Vows to Keep is supported by a team which includes biblical coaches, writers, and pastoral advisors. If you have a desire to serve marriages in your community, we would love to hear from you. Vows to Keep is a not-for-profit marriage ministry designed to bring God's encouraging truth to the marriages of our area. As a not-for-profit organization, our commitment to Christ-like marriages includes providing much-needed services regardless of a couple's financial ability to offset the cost of Vows to Keep operations. If you are unable to donate your time or abilities, but would like to help support Vows2Keep financially, visit VowsToKeep.com and click on the donate link. This program is sponsored by Vows2Keep of Zanesfield, Ohio.