Blueprints For A Blessed Marriage

What if the happiest marriages aren’t lucky but intentional—built on choices Jesus promised God would bless? We unpack the Beatitudes in plain, practical language and show how humility, mourning over sin, meekness, and hunger for righteousness can transform the culture of your home from quiet resentment to resilient joy.

We start with the hard reset of being poor in spirit, where honest humility disarms defensiveness and invites the kingdom into everyday conflict. Mourning sin becomes a doorway to comfort, not a spiral into shame. Then we reframe meekness as strength under control, the posture of a spouse who chooses service over scorekeeping. As we shift what we feed our hearts, hunger and thirst for righteousness recalibrate what we watch, say, and seek—so Christ’s life begins to shape our habits, apologies, and affections.

From there, mercy stops weaponized hurt and opens space for accountability that heals. Purity of heart sharpens our sight to notice God’s slow, steady work in each other. Real peacemaking confronts sin rather than avoiding it, building trust through truth told with tears and hope. And when pushback comes, we anchor in Jesus’ promise that those who pursue righteousness receive the kingdom’s resources. Along the way we share stories, Scripture, and simple starting points so you can practice one Beatitude this week and watch the temperature of your home change.

If this encouraged you, subscribe, share it with a couple who needs hope, and leave a review with the Beatitude you’re choosing to practice first. Your words help more marriages find a path to blessing.

Chapters

• 0:00 Mission And The Big Marriage Question
• 1:00 Why Blessing Follows Obedience
• 2:10 Comparison, Bitterness, And Choosing Forgiveness
• 3:15 Setting The Scene: Crowds And Context
• 5:00 Reading The Beatitudes With Fresh Eyes
• 7:10 Poor In Spirit: Humility And Salvation
• 10:30 Mourn Over Sin And Find Comfort
• 12:40 Meekness Is Strength Under Control
• 15:20 Hunger For Righteousness And Be Filled
• 18:20 Mercy At Home When Your Spouse Fails
• 20:30 Pure Hearts See God At Work
• 22:00 Real Peacemaking Confronts Sin
• 24:00 Expect Pushback And Persevere

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers. Our mission is to help couples develop biblically healthy marriages through the application of God's word and a deeper relationship with Him. We desire to help you and your spouse grow closer to each other and closer to the heart of God's design for your marriage. Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast.

SPEAKER_01: 0:23

Hey, we are David and Tracy Sellers.

SPEAKER_02: 0:25

And like you, we've made vows to keep.

SPEAKER_01: 0:28

So I want to know today who you know that has an amazing marriage. Okay, yes, David's pointing at him and I right now. Yes, I'm so grateful for that. But think about people in your life. Who has written their vows in permanent ink, so to speak, in your circle? Now, yes, the vows written in permanent ink is sort of a shameless plug for historical novel series that I've written. And if you want to know more about that, you can learn at vowstokeep.com.

SPEAKER_02: 0:56

It's a it's a book series that you ladies will want to read, absolutely. Well, when you're thinking about this couple that has done an amazing job of reflecting a biblically healthy marriage, what is the hallmark of what they do well? Maybe you've just been amazed by the positives that have come out of their marriage, and you've never actually thought about the actions that they take to get there.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20

Yeah, why do they have an amazing marriage? And maybe it's actually you that has an amazing marriage. Those blessings you see in awesome marriages don't just happen, though. There's a why behind it. There's a direct result between enjoying God's blessing in marriage and obeying Christ and his teachings. And thankfully, today on Vows to Keep Radio, we're gonna be looking at some of those teachings.

SPEAKER_02: 1:41

Some aspire to do it right, right from the start, and others are realizing, gosh, now is the time that we need a Jesus-sized rebound. It's time to do over, it's time to restart. Some of us only learn the value of Christ's teachings when our way hasn't been successful.

SPEAKER_01: 2:01

We've been there.

SPEAKER_02: 2:02

Yeah, absolutely. A blessed marriage doesn't just happen.

SPEAKER_01: 2:06

So I recently had a woman approach me at an event that we did, and she comes up to me, and she, of course, wanted to talk about her marriage because that's what we do at events. We talk about marriage. And what she started to do though was a little bit dangerous because she started to compare her marriage to what she knew of our marriage. Now, of course, she didn't know us personally, but she had seen some things from afar, and she was so sad that day talking with me. She was even borderline bitter, David. Her husband was not leading her spiritually, and to her, that was such a pain point. She was very angry about it. She was actually even vengeful about it. And I wonder, as you listen today, can you think of a time when you wanted to get revenge against someone, maybe even your spouse, but instead chose to forgive? If so, what were the good consequences of that godly decision?

SPEAKER_02: 2:53

Because blessings are a result of choices just like that. It's not a condition that we just run around with. Sin has its results, and unfortunately, we all are sinners. So if you're pondering some of that right now with us, now might be the time to start that restart, to to build your faith, to lean into your marriage. Jesus speaks out directly about what it means to be blessed. And it's not from just hanging out in utopia, but as we read God's word, we realize that our relationships are built and built strongly by undeserved blessings. And that is what we're going to focus on today. There's a teaching in the book of Matthew. It comes from a section of the Bible called the Sermon on the Mount. That sounds super official, but I don't think it really was. I think it was called this because literally he goes onto a mountain teaching to a group of listeners.

SPEAKER_01: 3:42

Yeah, he gives a sermon on a mountain.

SPEAKER_02: 3:43

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 3:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 3:45

To put Jesus into some context, I think we can relate to in this day and age. He is a Bible time influencer. He's a very compelling figure. He's God after all. And people were drawn to him. His followers learned of him, though, by word of mouth. It wasn't like we could give him a like on Facebook or something like that. So here we are in Matthew 4. Jesus begins to teach these people about the kingdom of God and about repentance. And repentance is a very big deal. In fact, last night we met with a couple, they were in the thick of isolation. They couldn't even look each other in the eye. They were so upset. The brokenness was a direct result of sin. And repentance changed it all. When they realized how easy it was to seek that forgiveness, 15 minutes later they were kissing and hugging.

SPEAKER_01: 4:33

It was so sweet to see that we kissed and hugged too and got tears in our eyes as well. But that's what God's ways bring about. They bring about blessing. Like David was saying, Jesus was healing people of things that afflicted them. The word was spreading about the sky. And some people were even saying, This is the Son of God. But you gotta think about it this way. Life was so different back then. Like they were not sitting in front of iPads, they were not, you know, scrolling through Facebook, they were not going shopping and just picking up the latest just because they wanted to. Like they were working the fields to feed themselves. Life looks so much different. So all of a sudden, if you're working in your field or you're taking care of the little ones on the dirt floor, and all of a sudden a crowd walks by, you're gonna probably determine something's happening here, maybe good or bad. I don't always know, but that's what was going on. Crowds began to follow Jesus, and not all of them were believers. Matthew 5 starts out in verse 1 when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on the mountain when he was seated. His disciples came to him.

SPEAKER_02: 5:33

I can only imagine if if Jesus was living current day and all of this was recorded on YouTube or Facebook live. Can you imagine a video of Jesus healing people?

SPEAKER_01: 5:45

He'd have a lot of followers.

SPEAKER_02: 5:47

I think he would. Can you imagine him sitting down and leading some teaching? The views would be crazy high. And not just because everyone who watched thought it was good, actually. To your point earlier, not everyone was totally clear about where they would stand when it came to Jesus. Just like us, there's times where we're watching things saying, Man, I I can't help but not watch this just to see what's going to happen next.

SPEAKER_01: 6:10

I'd like to subscribe to that channel. Can I do that?

SPEAKER_02: 6:13

To the Jesus channel.

SPEAKER_01: 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:14

Yeah. The first scene really begins with a list of 12 verses called the Beatitudes, which is really just a fancy word that means blessed. Probably many of you have heard of these in Sunday school or memorized them. These are the classic inspirational, like grandma's apple pie verses that everyone has at least tasted some of.

SPEAKER_01: 6:34

And when I read through them, because I like to read through the New Testament and the Old Testament periodically to refresh myself, and I kind of just breeze through them and I think, yeah, that's cool. I'd like to be blessed, of course. Everybody likes to be blessed. But a lot of times their application feels kind of far away. Or I look at them really quickly because I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job at them. Peacemaking, being pure, being meek.

SPEAKER_02: 6:58

So it starts in in Matthew chapter 5 with this. This is now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him and he began to teach them. He said, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

SPEAKER_01: 7:18

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. This is number four. They're going to be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they'll be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. And blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

SPEAKER_02: 7:38

I love how every one of these starts with the word blessed. In the Greek, we we learned that it means something like, Oh, how happy! Oh, how happy are those who are merciful or pure.

SPEAKER_01: 7:49

Like that marriage we asked you to think of in the very beginning of this broadcast. I bet they're happy because they're putting some of those things into practice.

SPEAKER_02: 7:57

So as I've read through this passage, in the past, I've kind of skipped over the blessing part, thinking, okay, you know, it'd be great to be blessed. But it's it's always in this arbitrary sort of way. As I look at it more carefully, I begin to notice how we're not just vaguely blessed. There's an exact blessing that comes with each of these statements. Comfort, seeing God, being a child of God. These are very direct blessings.

SPEAKER_01: 8:20

Looking at that cause and effect, I can really hone in on things that I feel like I'm not doing well. But then there's those things I feel like I just can't relate with. Like, for example, the first couple are blessed are those who mourn. Well, that doesn't really apply to me, does it? Because I haven't lost someone dear to me recently. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Okay, like what does that even really mean? Or blessed are the persecuted. Well, I don't have a whole lot of that in my life. So does this apply to me? What ends up happening is maybe I feel a little bad about myself as I read through the list, or I question the immediate relevance and I just move on.

SPEAKER_02: 8:54

Yeah, I I go to the next verse quickly, or I just shut my Bible. But Jesus has a plan, not only for those that he's teaching on the day that he he taught this, but for you and I and our marriages as well. I think in the Beatitudes, we're forced to assess what we pursue, what it is that we worship, what we believe, and how it is actually lived out in our lives on a very practical level. Now there's eight beatitudes, and I think we can break them down in this way. There are the first three, they're about really an emptying and a surrendering. Next comes the answer to what we long for, what we need. And after we've been filled, come three ways God works in our hearts to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And then finally comes how we will handle the sin of others.

SPEAKER_01: 9:37

All very applicable, every single one of those. So let's start with those first three. Jesus says, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. And if you look at it in the amplified version of the Bible, and if you're not familiar with that, it's just a version that gives different nuances and meanings of the original Greek language in a way that we can understand it in our modern language today. So here's how it says Blessed, spiritually prosperous, happy, and to be admired are the poor in spirit. Poor in spirit meaning those who are devoid of spiritual arrogance, thinking, I've got it all together, those who regard themselves as insignificant, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, both now and forever. This blessing, this verse takes us from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, the first moment we put our faith in Jesus Christ. And it really is the best place to be. And I hope that you have been there, that you have recognized how poor in spirit you are, because when we realize we're bankrupt spiritually, it's a place of humility, and that's where we cry out, help God, I need you, I can't live without you. And then he steps in and says, Absolutely. In fact, I'm going to give you the kingdom of heaven.

SPEAKER_02: 10:42

So many times he will actually use your spouse in what's about to come next after that. It is this all-important decision of putting our faith in Christ that we go from wretched sinners to glorious sons and daughters of the most high God. So we have to let our sin drive us to the cross because blessed are you if you stand before God in that position of humility, that poor in spirit, and a decision of humility, so ready and willing to accept his grace and his mercy, because that is the result. The poor in spirit examine our spiritual condition before God. So I want to ask you today have you believed in his son Jesus Christ as your personal savior? That decision is a decision you'll make at a certain day and time, one that won't just pass on without recollection. That's why God has promised the kingdom of heaven to those of us that have. And if you're not sure where you stand today, the blessings aren't just in what Jesus says we should do in these verses. The blessing starts in the relationship with Him as Lord and Savior. So if you're not sure where you stand, let today be that day. Now, if you know you've been saved by grace and Jesus is your Savior, examine where you're at and get anything out in the open that's between you and God, or maybe between you and your spouse.

SPEAKER_01: 11:56

Because I think every single one of these Beatitudes applies to our marriage. That's why we're so excited to go through these with you today.

SPEAKER_00: 12:04

If you have a marriage question, please email questions at vowstokeep.com. Vows2Keep will respond to you via email and perhaps use it on the air. Now let's rejoin Vows2Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers.

SPEAKER_01: 12:19

It's only when we're humble enough to admit that we need help that we see our spouse needs the same help. And that's a really good place to be because we know we've received God's amazing grace. We know Jesus is his son, and it's only through his son that we have that grace. Then we're primed to see our spouse as a sinner. And I want to say today that that is actually a really good thing, David. And it seems a little upside down, doesn't it, to see your spouse as a sinner and know that's how you should view them. Because then you understand what they need. You understand why they act like they do, and you understand the answer. And it's not just for them to figure out on their own. You can come alongside them and be an advocate.

SPEAKER_02: 13:00

That's right. Being poor in spirit helps us to label sin for what it is. And that sin that you see in yourself, that sin you see in your wife or your kids or your extended family or coworkers, the sin you see on the news. Well, that brings us to verse four. It says, Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted. The mess that exists between you and your spouse is not how God intended it to be. Sin entered this world, and now we live with its consequences. The appalling condition not only of our own hearts without God, but also the state of our home, the state of our world is all because of sin. For so many of us cause us to want to do one of two things. Number one, stick our head in the sand and even join in with the sin, or it will cause you to want to run to God and take up his purpose and see his vision for his people and this creation of his.

SPEAKER_01: 13:53

What is the sin that exists in your house causing you to do? Is it causing you to just want to ignore it, join in, or run to God? The forgiveness that we all need, and it's available to us at the throne of grace every single time. And it's going to help you to be an advocate for your spouse because they're going to stumble over sin and you can help them run to God. You can run there with them. I think we should let God comfort us with the promise that we are not here forever. This isn't how it's supposed to be, like David said. We have a purpose here on earth, but it's not our home. One day it says in Revelation 21:4 that God's going to wipe away every tear from our eye and all will be restored the way God intended it. Praise God for that. So, David, you know, something just dawned on me. When I read through the Beatitudes, it's like I'm putting people in eight different camps, especially when it comes to this next one that talks about the meek inheriting the earth. Because I can actually think of someone right now that I would classify as meek in their personality, but this is not a personality trait, actually. This is a God trait. It's not someone who's head down, just passive doormat. That's not what Jesus is talking about here. Sure, some people might be more inclined to be more soft-spoken or more timid, but if you look down in Matthew, just a few chapters after this, Matthew 11, this is the famous passage. You'll probably be able to say it with me in your head. Jesus says, Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I'll give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, learn from me, for I am gentle or meek, that's that same word, and humble in heart, and you'll find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Jesus is saying, Look what I do, and then go do likewise. Hook up with me and learn how I treat people. I'm not weak. I'm not waiting for you to lift me up, Jesus says. I'm actually here to lift you up. That's right. He's got this attitude of gentle love, and it makes him so strong. And he's like, Hey, let me teach you about who I am and copy how I act.

SPEAKER_02: 15:53

And that matters so much because in our culture, especially in the culture of marriage that we see today, we always feel like we need to stand up for ourselves. We need to grab what we need because no one else is going to help us. But as Christians, God's goal is to change us little by little, to act like him, to speak like him, to love like him. That is an amazing calling. Ephesians 4 talks about putting off our old self, the one that's corrupted by these evil desires, and instead to put on our new self, to be created like God in true righteousness and holiness. Understanding Christ's character is key to this process that's called sanctification. Jesus is both meek as a lamb and mighty as a lion, humble and gentle when it comes to us, and a mighty warrior against evil and sin. And we can be the same, yoked up with Jesus, bold against sin, taking a stand, but toward others bold enough to set what we would first consider to be our rights to the side. Because when I'm kind and gentle and sweet-spirited, self-controlled, humble, that is what meekness is. Now Jesus says in Matthew 5, verse 6 blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, they will be filled.

SPEAKER_01: 17:04

This is a really pivotal verse in the Beatitudes. This is where we go from where our hearts need to change to really who we are. We're hungry, thirsty humans. We crave all the time something to satisfy. In your household, take assessment of what you're listening to, what you're watching, what you're allowing your kids to put in front of their eyes. What you're putting in is what you think will fulfill you. And that is a sort of a scary statement. I'm going to say that again. What you're putting in is what you think is going to fulfill you. So my question is, is it? Do you come away from that movie or that hobby or whatever it is, a more loving spouse, a more Christ-like mom, a godly spiritual leader? Or do you come away filled up with something else, something that changes your attitude or actions to something that's ungodly? This is a hard question, and it's even harder to answer. But oh, this can be such a pivot point in our marriage if we understand what Jesus is talking about here. The righteousness, this hunger and thirst for righteousness, is not acting perfectly. It's not legalism, it's not crossing every T and dotting every I. It's seeking that right standing with God and seeking what He wants for us. It's wanting what Paul talks about. This verse has been going through my mind all week, no longer I who live, but wanting Christ to live in and through me is a direct result of the second beatitude that we taught on. Blessed are those who mourn. We've got to get to the point where we absolutely hate sin, that it breaks our hearts, and we crave truth and mercy and grace and everything right because it's going to change our marriages. It is. It's such a dichotomy, isn't it? Hungry and filled, satisfied and craving. How can they belong in the same sentence? Well, that's God's economy.

SPEAKER_02: 18:52

So picture it in your mind this way. The first three beatitudes that we've been talking about are how we're emptied. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are the meek. In the truth and action of these, we're washed clean. We're prepared to be filled up with everything God wants to pour out of us and into our marriage and into our spouse's heart. So how is hunger and thirst for righteousness showing up in your marriage? Is fulfilling your role in your marriage a joyous pursuit, or have you given in to disregarding it? Are you filled up with God? Are you satisfied with how God is loving your spouse through you?

SPEAKER_01: 19:30

When I'm divided between sin and righteousness, pretty much when I'm just picking the one that suits me best in the moment, which is what we all do, guess what? I am in the way of having a successful marriage. I'm in the way of having that sweet kind of love between me and David. To have my heart and mind be so seeking after God and putting feet to action and loving my spouse that nothing would ever satisfy except for God Himself. God, we pray that you would fill us up with you every single Day as we feast on you alone.

SPEAKER_02: 20:02

We're almost out of time as we wrap up, realizing that we have seen ways that God works in our heart to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. How will we handle the sin of other people? Now, I want to answer that question together with you, Tracy, by looking at the final four beatitudes. And the next one is that the merciful will be shown mercy.

SPEAKER_01: 20:26

We see God's mercy. At least I hope you see it, because He is giving it to you. You just have to look for it. And it's not second nature for us to be merciful. We want to have someone pay for how they've hurt us. Mercy, though, can take flight in our spouse's failure when we know God's mercy, when we see Jesus' reaction to our spouse's sin. For example, we know a couple, the husband has had a long struggle with pornography, and we've seen his wife's reaction to that. She didn't dole out punishment to him in the form of probably what she wanted to do: a cold shoulder, name-calling, raised voice, withholding affection from him, because she remembered how much mercy she had received. She really lives it out well. She doesn't let how her husband's sin affected her overpower the reaction of mercy that God has asked her to give.

SPEAKER_02: 21:33

Verse 8 says, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. They'll see God working not only in our lives, but in the lives of our spouse. The result of a pure heart is a trust in God ruling your house and your spouse. Knowing that we are their best champion to help them be in pursuit of becoming like Jesus. We've got just two more to go. The closer we get to God, the more we recognize that God always deals with sin.

SPEAKER_01: 22:04

I'm really grateful for that.

SPEAKER_02: 22:05

Absolutely. He is the ultimate peacemaker. And I meet husbands who believe the lie that peace means not confronting sin. That is not peacemaking. Not confronting a problem is like taking an issue which could be temporary and turning it into something that's long-term. That's what makes verse 9 my favorite. It says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Never willing to just allow sin to rule your house. A peacemaker is one who confronts sin to create that peace that we actually long for. We should never make a handshake agreement with sin. They can't coexist in your house. 2 Corinthians 6.14 says, For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?

SPEAKER_01: 22:54

If there is sin in your marriage and you're looking for peace without dealing with at first, it's just not gonna happen. 2 Corinthians 5.20 is our commission to our spouse. It says, So we are Christ's ambassadors. God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, come back to God. And we don't approach our spouse in that situation with, hey, I'm perfect.

SPEAKER_02: 23:16

I got this all together.

SPEAKER_01: 23:17

Yeah, you better clean up your act. No, absolutely not. We understand our own sin nature, we understand our own failings, and we come to them in humility, and it's just a totally different conversation. I can't tell you how many times David has done this for me and how helpful it's been.

SPEAKER_02: 23:32

And likewise, the reaction you get from your spouse, though, is not always gonna be a positive one. Because when you come along as a peacemaker, it's not always seen that way. You could get some backlash from that, and that is where verse 10 comes to mind. It says that we will be persecuted because of righteousness.

SPEAKER_01: 23:49

Then we are receivers of the kingdom of heaven. That's the blessing.

SPEAKER_02: 23:53

Persecution can come when we challenge people in their faith. Expect it.

SPEAKER_01: 23:58

Alright, some final thoughts here as we wrap up on Vows to Keep Radio. God has the best in mind for you, and He awaits eagerly to give you these promises. We are called to live by them, and then we're gonna see the blessing.

SPEAKER_00: 24:15

Vows to Keep is supported by a team which includes biblical coaches, writers, and pastoral advisors. If you have a desire to serve marriages in your community, we would love to hear from you. Vows to Keep is a not-for-profit marriage ministry designed to bring God's encouraging truth to the marriages of our area. As a not-for-profit organization, our commitment to Christ-like marriages includes providing much-needed services regardless of a couple's financial ability to offset the cost of Vows to Keep operations. If you are unable to donate your time or abilities but would like to help support Vows2Keep financially, visit vowstoKeep.com and click on the donate link. This program is sponsored by Vows2Keep of Zanesfield, Ohio.