The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast

Weathering Financial Storms in Your Marriage :: [Ep. 276]

• David & Tracy Sellars • Episode 276

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Weathering Financial Storms in Your Marriage :: [Ep. 276]

Come listen to this week's episode where we share biblical wisdom for navigating rising prices without letting financial stress damage your marriage. We are offering practical guidance for managing household budgets during inflation while maintaining spiritual perspective and marital unity.

We will cover the following:

• Five practical strategies for managing finances in uncertain economic times
• The connection between trusting God as provider and making wise financial decisions
• Creating a realistic budget that accounts for rising prices while prioritizing true needs
• Distinguishing between actual needs versus perceived entitlements
• The importance of maintaining kingdom mission despite financial limitations
• How financial constraints can actually strengthen family bonds and spiritual growth
• Practical budgeting tips including tracking spending and identifying areas to cut back

God wants to change our hearts to stop chasing things of this world and use our resources to chase Him instead. When we do that, complaints between spouses stop, and we develop a united purpose focused on the mission ahead rather than what we lack. We hope as you listen you will be greatly helped and encouraged!


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers. Our mission is to help couples develop biblically healthy marriages through the application of God's Word and a deeper relationship with Him. We desire to help you and your spouse grow closer to each other and closer to the heart of God's design for your marriage. Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast designed for your marriage.

Speaker 2:

Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast. Are you struggling with the rising prices of well, everything? It's one thing to know you have a steady job to go to in the morning. It's another to wonder if your paycheck will be enough to cover all the bills.

Speaker 3:

No matter how much money you have in the bank, most of us are starting to sweat. It's crazy what's happening to the state of our economy, especially not knowing how bad it's going to get. No matter how much I tell myself to trust God that he is bigger than a $5 gallon of gas, that won't even get me to and from the store. I've got to admit it's becoming more and more of a struggle.

Speaker 2:

We're going to share with you today five ways you can take action to stay secure in both your finances and how they impact your marriage relationship. What are they Find out in today's episode of Vows to Keep Radio, the show where you get sound biblical counsel you can apply today to your marriage? We're your hosts, david and Tracy Sellers, and we've made Vows to Keep. We're biblical marriage counselors, authors, teachers, radio hosts and conference speakers. This is the broadcast for couples in any stage who want to build their marriage and grow closer to God and to each other.

Speaker 3:

We have personally walked down the path of getting debt-free and staying debt-free, despite a few curveballs that life has thrown us. Now we're not perfect in how we handle emotions or the practicality of our finances, but we are walking this uncertain road with you with the certainty that we're the best resource guide out there for our hearts and our pocketbooks. It's the Bible First off. Before we get into the five ways to not let inflation derail your budget or your marriage, let's talk about the correlation between the two.

Speaker 3:

Before inflation hit everyone like a ton of bricks, the majority of the couples that we met with had finances as one of the things that was on their to-do list to talk through, to work through as a couple in marriage counseling. There's a lot of tension for couples when it comes to this topic, from the lack of a plan to too stringent of a plan, from anything goes to great. Now we've got this debt. Hey, no, that's my money, this is yours. Let's keep it separate. You see, when we go into marriage, we each bring a set of expectations, a set of rules and ideals about money all coming into this marriage and the merging of these things is not always a pretty picture.

Speaker 2:

The good news is it is possible to be united with your spouse on this topic, even in, especially in this uncharted field of financial landmines. It's possible to put everything into God's hands and leave it there, and it's possible to navigate the unknown with a plan. I scroll through social media sometimes and I hear even people who would consider themselves strong in the faith beginning to panic. There's initially a general distaste for what's happening in the economy, but when it begins to impact us directly, that's when we start to get vocal about it. If that's where you're at, or you're starting to feel the unease, let's walk through five ways you can take action today. One keep your head. Two keep your heart and your spouse's heart. Three keep a tight budget and a loose budget. Four keep God's heart in mind. And five keep your purpose. Let's start with number one keep your head.

Speaker 3:

It's so easy to let worry and fear rule our thoughts. We can tell if we're delving into this territory by what we're listening to, what we're watching, and then how we're reacting to these things. What we're posting on social media or texting about is also a really big clue. The things we bring up in conversation to others. Even how often we're checking our retirement account, reveals the thoughts that may need adjusting in our lives.

Speaker 3:

Romans 12.2 says do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Fear of a God who is not going to provide causes us to lose our cool. Worry consumes us.

Speaker 3:

Being tested means that our hearts know God as provider and our head reaction will also show it. Being tested causes us to discern, just like this verse in Romans is talking about. It often reveals that in fact, our heart is not trusting God and our head, with all of its fear, is simply revealing that we're fooling ourselves. In our heart, trusting God as a provider is a heart thing first, and then it becomes a head thing. It's proved out, it's demonstrated by testing, and that shows that we have been transformed, that we look different than everyone else who is conforming to the panic that the latest news broadcasts or the price on the shelves are bringing Now. We're going to share more on this later. For now, let's jump to number two keeping your heart and keeping your spouse's heart.

Speaker 2:

It may even seem easier to keep your head about something than to keep your heart about something. So we're going to go to God's word for the foundation of number two keep your heart and keep your spouse's heart. We're going to go to the parable of the sower. Now, if you know the parable of the sower, it's talking about the word of God that gets planted in different kinds of soil. The word of God this is the truth that we know from scripture gets sown into our hearts. Our hearts are the soil and we've got this truth at our disposal. It's food for our souls, it's guidance for our decision, it's a light for our next steps.

Speaker 2:

In this parable, Jesus has a few things for us to pay attention to, things to watch out for. Mark 4, 16 through 19 says there's a seed sown on rocky places. These are those of us who hear the word and at once we receive it with joy. And then Jesus says in verse 17, but since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seeds sown among thorns, hear the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desire for other things come in, they choke the word and it becomes unfruitful.

Speaker 2:

This is so applicable to us today. It is amazing to me that it's not just getting rich that can make us veer off of the right course. It's the worry of the lack of riches, the absence of things that we're used to having, that can derail us. Most of us are more motivated by fear than by success. That's why we've got to keep close tabs on our hearts. Jesus also warns that the love of money is the root of a great big weed that's going to choke out serving him. Love and hate are actually two sides of the same coin. We can say we don't love money and actually really mean it, but we hate not having enough to buy what we want or what we need, and the two really are one in the same. They both cause us to take action that isn't biblical. The love of money has us running to capture it, but the hatred of not having money causes us to complain and then run after it. Both love and hate propel us to put money above God.

Speaker 3:

Husbands, I can't encourage you enough to keep a watch on your heart and on your wife's heart. There's a contentment message here. There's a stewardship message here. Can I encourage you to not just observe your spouse's weakness but to spend time in prayer and then in conversation with them, not complaining about what they've done wrong, but advocating for the joy that comes on the other side of doing it God's way. With that we're going to jump into number three keeping a tight and a loose budget. Let's explain Trace.

Speaker 2:

That one definitely needs some explanation. So let's start practically speaking. There are things that we can do to flux with the prices at the pump and at the store, starting with having a budget in the first place. If you don't have one, you can start today. If you do have one, get it out and let's make some revisions.

Speaker 2:

Write down all of your recurring bills. You can even open up a simple Excel or Google Sheets document and log those fixed mandatory obligations Everything from tithe, mortgage utilities, phone car payments, student loans, credit card payments and the like. And don't forget other things in there, like property taxes, homeowners insurance, monthly savings, retirement deductions. Then I want you to look back for the last three months for variables like groceries, including toiletries, things like gas, clothes, eating out, entertainment, birthday presents, date nights, hobbies, amazon, online shopping and those yearly memberships you have so many of. Then there are the expenses that crop up once in a while but aren't a monthly bill, like car maintenance, school, school, sports expenses, hobbies, travel and any variable expenses you know might be around the bend. I know I went through that list really fast. Don't worry, we're going to go ahead and put it on our Facebook page so you can have access to it and start your spreadsheet tonight.

Speaker 3:

Be realistic about this. Don't write down what you think you should spend or what you think you did spend. Go get an actual number. Actual history is powerful when it comes to building a budget. So, now that you've got those historical numbers in black and white, I want you to create a second column in your spreadsheet so that you can do a little bit of tweaking, adjusting for change, inflation. Some things are going to remain the same, like your mortgage, your car payments, your student loans. Some will maybe just change a little bit, like car insurance or cell phone bills. Some things, though, are going to be changing a lot, a lot more than we're comfortable with. For example, if you have been spending $200 a month for gas, well, of course, now the gas price is double what it was, and so you're going to need to raise that accordingly. If you spend $500 a month on groceries and toiletries, you may need to wait a month and see how much is a reasonable budget given the current prices. Maybe it's an additional $200. This fluxing category needs to include things that are hiking up in price, like utilities, eating out, clothes, online shopping like Amazon. After you've increased these categories to reflect actually what's happening, the changes that we see.

Speaker 3:

Do some totaling. Compare your income to your expenses. How much is left? So this is where things get very practical. How is your income comparing to your spending? This is going to give you an idea of where your budget is heading. Is there a margin to pay for what's needed? Is there money for what is an actual need, like eating, giving health insurance In those categories that you've had substantial increase due to pricing that you can't control? Step back and consider what it is that you can control.

Speaker 2:

When we were working to get debt free a few years ago, we had a budget for groceries, but we also knew that was an area that we could sacrifice some things For food. I went through our standard family meals and I did some calculations. I saw meals that made sense to have more often because the cost per serving was economical. I also saw eating at home was way better option than going out to eat. We cut our eating out budget back to almost nothing for a season and ate at home as much as we could. We also cut out some of the fun stuff that ends up in our grocery cart that we didn't really need.

Speaker 2:

For example, I know it's silly, but I love to feed the birds out back of our house. That's $15 a month, maybe even more Pop and drinks. Even water bottles really add up. We looked at our snacking and made healthier and cheaper choices, and when gas gets too high we give a little more thought to our errands and our outings. So where could you cut back? Put that in your budget, then watch that spending for a month or two and make additional adjustments as needed.

Speaker 1:

If you have a marriage question, please email questions at vows2keepcom. Vows2keep will respond to you via email and perhaps use it on the air. Now let's rejoin Vows to Keep Radio with David and.

Speaker 3:

Tracy Sellers Now reconsider the needs that actually aren't. Look at it this way If you lost your job, if there was no income and you were living off of savings, what would you not buy In the past? You might not have labeled wants as they should have been. We call everything needs, but we wouldn't buy it if we didn't have a job and if we didn't have money. These extra things either need to stop now or be put on pause for a season.

Speaker 3:

Let's get real with ourselves. Memberships to places like car washes, gyms, video and online streaming services like music hobbies, the big birthday, christmas present, buying that we like to do, expensive dates, luxury items, entertainment, kids, sports and the list could go on and on. These aren't necessarily wrong, but if you don't have the money for them, now is not the time to be spending it. When we've forgotten to see extras as a blessing, we actually begin to believe we are entitled to them. And guess what? Over and over again, I've seen God take those idols out of our lives in a forceful, difficult way. I can't encourage you enough to pray about this on your own and then as a couple. What could go? What has been too much of a priority in our lives and needs to be put in a proper place, not only in our lives, but in our budget.

Speaker 2:

As you consider this, I want to remind us of a life lesson that we're all handed. Remember when we were in that hot topic called lockdown. Many of these extras weren't an option because we couldn't go anywhere and lots of us saved money like never before. But another really interesting thing happened when families were home with nothing to do. They loved each other. Moms and dads had time with their kids, Kids had time with their siblings. They found things to do together that created a tighter bond than ever would have been there before. I know we experienced that as a family, as did so many others. We talked with couples who were coming out of lockdown saying that they were loving their family time because they weren't running to so many places and trying to do all the things. Life is full of choices, many of which we don't even realize until we can't make them.

Speaker 3:

When we think about budget, we have to take account actually of our assets. What do we have that we could sell? What are we tempted to replace that is actually just a luxury? What could we continue to use, even if we don't like the fact that maybe it's frayed or the paint is coming off? We've all heard these stories of how our grandparents or great-grandparents only had one car, or they wore coats until the elbows showed through. That generation was famous for downsizing to meet their actual abilities. They made things from scratch. Now we're not suggesting you go join the soup line today, but the generational comparison should force us to rethink what we think we're entitled to In this tight budget you're creating.

Speaker 3:

So you don't go into debt, so you're certain to have the money to pay those non-negotiable bills. Also, keep a loose budget. This is the time to watch where the dollars are going and where they should be going, and how many of them should be going into what buckets. But at the same time, hold that budget loosely. Create some margin for an economy that is still in flux. It most likely will continue to change. Hold the things that are extras with an open hand. This might be the time to cut back on things we've done in the past. This is most certainly the time to not demand. It's your right to have a certain convenience or item in your life or experience that you want. We get used to these lifestyles. We've lived so long and we don't see that we've been blessed deeply.

Speaker 2:

And I know there's things we can't help but get, like shoes for our kids when their feet grow three sizes in one summer True story. Or getting our breaks done on the car. It has to be done, but everything has give and take. I can learn to do my own breaks off of YouTube and, trust me, the Sellers family does that kind of stuff all the time and I can buy a middle-of-the-road brand of shoes for my son, knowing he most likely won't wear them out before he outgrows them.

Speaker 2:

Now I would, of course, love to eat out and get a break from the kitchen all the time, but when a lunch meal costs more than an hour of minimum wage, I need to make some different choices, and that's okay. I can take my family out for a nice dinner these days for the same money I used to budget for an entire month of eating out 10 years ago. As a couple, we need to sit down and arrive at a number for each of these categories that fits within not only our budget, but also fits within the biblical standards of being good stewards of what God has given us. I should never hold so tightly to an ideal that I'm not willing to make concessions for change where it's needed. And in all this, I know that God has good plans. So let's jump into number four. Let's keep God's heart in mind as we go through this trying season.

Speaker 3:

Matthew 6, 25 says therefore, I tell you, don't worry about your life, what you'll eat or drink, or about your body or what you'll wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? Look at those birds of the air. They don't sow or reap or store anything away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they Can any of you by worrying, add a single hour to your life? What a good question. This is our chance to put our trust in God into action, where our faith that we've had for so long is actually going to get its wings and take flight. This is where we're strengthening our feeble knees and we get strong in the Lord.

Speaker 3:

Hebrews 11 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It says now, faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction, the assurance of things we cannot see. We can't see God, yet we believe in him. We can't see what's going to happen to our nation, to our world, to our bank accounts, but we can trust this from Hebrews 11.3. It says by faith, we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can actually be seen referring to God by faith. We can look back at our past and see God has been faithful. He never went against his word.

Speaker 3:

We read the accounts of God's faithfulness all over the place in the Old Testament. Why would he change now? Now this is going to test your faith. Let it. It's a good thing. God wants to show you that your roots go deeper than you realize. He may bring you through the fire, but it is for your good. James one verse two says consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Speaker 2:

Keep God's heart in mind for you, because his heart can be trusted. He has got your back. Let's finish that passage that David started earlier from Matthew, chapter 6, where it says hey, I know what you need. Jesus says why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They don't labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon, in all of his splendor, was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith? So don't worry, jesus says. He's saying that to you today. He's taking your chin in his hands, lifting your eyes to his, and he's saying don't worry, don't say what shall we eat? What shall we drink? What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, he says, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. Here's the thing Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.

Speaker 2:

God's got the long-term goal in mind. He wants to bring people into His kingdom. He knows that you need these earthly things. Trust Him to provide them for you, as you are a wise steward with what he's given you, put your eyes on what he's got his eyes on. And that brings us to number five here today on Vows to Keep Radio. Keep your purpose, stay on mission.

Speaker 2:

The goal is one that we can't see. It's building God's kingdom, like it says in Matthew, chapter 6. To do that, to do that, there's a lot that we may have to live without. There's a lot of work to be done, and having what we want shouldn't prevent us from serving him. One doesn't preclude the other. The obstacles we see blocking us from serving God are all too often tied to our budget, but they shouldn't be. Hey, I want to bring this family a meal, but the food budget's too tight. But the reality is that most of the time we can't get past the things that are on our list. I surely don't have margin to give to someone else because I need this thing. We've been so busy serving us. It's hard to see it any other way and, trust me, david and I are guilty of this as well. The basics aren't really the minimum. We live higher in our country than most of the world and we think of ourselves as just getting by Just like. Lockdown taught us how unimportant some of these things are, how much extra we really had, especially time when we put serving God's kingdom ahead of our own. We find those decisions are actually really easy. We just have to first be willing to deny ourselves. Lockdown forced us to deny ourselves and our kids.

Speaker 2:

It's such an interesting period in history, lessons learned, that I don't think God is really done teaching us. There's a discipline from our Heavenly Father, perhaps a loving hand that's still guiding us back onto the right path. We thought we'd learned the lesson and then, at the first opportunity, we jumped right back into the fire and now we're having to relearn it. Jesus wants us to keep our eyes on Him, on the goal. His goal has always been to bring us back to the Father. It's always been to make us more like Himself, all with the purpose of using us to bring others to Him too.

Speaker 2:

That is still your mission, despite the financial situation, and in fact, the mission only comes into more focus as the things the world offers are less of a possibility for us. Your mission starts with your family, your wife, your husband, your children, those closest to you. Let the current state of affairs sharpen your intentionality toward your family, towards God's mission. Going without the unnecessary extras has its benefits. It provides you margin to invest in your family and in the needs of those in your circle of influence. As you keep your eyes on Christ through hard times, others around you are going to notice and they're going to want the peace that you have.

Speaker 2:

A heart of thankfulness and not panic, is catchy, it's attractive and it points people to our Savior.

Speaker 2:

God can use you to build his kingdom because you aren't going to be busy building yours.

Speaker 2:

God wants you to know today that it is completely possible to walk this road ahead, this unknown, not only with purpose but with thankfulness. When we're able to see past what we don't have or what's been taken away from us, and into the unseen of eternity and the work still to be done here so others can know Christ. Unseen of eternity and the work still to be done here so others can know Christ, we can be both purposeful and thankful. We can count it a joy, like James 1 says, to walk through trials, because, hey, that means that God is still working on our hearts, he's up to something and he's inviting us along with Him. He wants to change our hearts to the point of pivoting our desires, so we stop chasing the things of this world and we actually use our resources, our time, our money, our energy to chase him. When we do that, there won't be complaints or fights between you and your spouse. There's going to be a united purpose that stops looking at the lack of things and start seeing the mission ahead.

Speaker 1:

Vows to Keep is supported by a team which includes biblical coaches, writers and pastoral advisors. If you have a desire to serve marriages in your community, we would love to hear from you. Vows to Keep is a not-for-profit marriage ministry designed to bring God's encouraging truth to the marriages of our area. As a not-for-profit organization, our commitment to Christlike marriages includes providing much-needed services, regardless of a couple's financial ability to offset the cost of Vows to Keep operations. If you are unable to donate your time or abilities, but would like to help support Vows to Keep financially, visit VowsToKeepcom and click on the donate link. This program is sponsored by Vows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio.

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David Sellars

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Tracy Sellars

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