The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast

Wisdom for Marriage: The I AM Statements of Jesus (pt. 2) :: [Ep. 246]

• David & Tracy Sellars • Episode 246

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Wisdom for Marriage: The I AM Statements of Jesus (pt. 2) :: [Ep. 246]

Jesus proclaimed, “I AM the good shepherd.” Do you believe this?? This week on the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are highlighting this promise of Jesus and exposing the enemy’s common tactics to draw you away from your marriage and remind us of the sweet truth of what it means to have Jesus as the shepherd of your marriage. 

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers. The mission of Vows to Keep is to help couples develop a biblically healthy marriage through the application of God's Word and a deeper relationship with Him. They desire to help you and your spouse grow closer to each other and closer to the heart of God's design for your marriage. Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast design for your marriage.

Speaker 2:

Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast. We are David and Tracy Sellers and we have made vows to keep Tracy this. Last Sunday I was at church and ran into a husband and a wife couple and just started talking with them. Well, the wife seemed to know who I was, the husband I had never met before. And she said to her husband hey, this is Tracy Sellers' husband. And I said, yes, I am. And it made me realize the implications of the statements that we're going to be studying today, where Jesus says I am. You see, we make these kinds of statements ourselves all the time. I am your husband, and that means something very significant. But, truth be told, the only way that we can fulfill who we are is that we would be planted firmly in the truths of Jesus Christ. So let's dig in today and study God's word and learn more about the I am statements that Jesus makes in the Bible.

Speaker 3:

The first I am statement we're going to study today. David is, I am the gate. In John 10, 9, or other versions say I am the door.

Speaker 2:

You know, in this day and age, everyone thinks that any road will work, and that's not what this verse is saying, but it reminds me of the first time I took our daughter, Autumn and at the time she was probably five years old to a fun house that was part of a circus, and the thing that I remember is, of course, there's all these mirrors that are all distorted, but there was like 15 doors and you had no idea which one was going to successfully get you out.

Speaker 3:

And, of course, the reflection of the doors makes it even harder to know is that a real door or is this a fake door?

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 3:

Well, jesus says I am the door. He's the door to eternal life and abundant life right here, and I love that. It's not just for the future, it's for right now, and the door that he has for us to open today has even got a big old sign on it, so we are certain that we've got the right one. There's not a mystery here. Jesus has made this really clear. The problem is that right next to the door, that's the only way. Truth and life, like Jesus said in John 14, 6, that we studied last week, are countless other possibilities with signs on those doors that promise that they're going to lead you to what you've been seeking. Jesus says in John 10, 3,. Right before this, I am statement. The gatekeeper, or the doorkeeper, opens the gate and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name, but David. Just like there are many doors and not all lead to life, there are also many voices that are calling to us.

Speaker 2:

That is so true. In fact, not all of them are good. So who's calling you today? Maybe saying that the door you've chosen, the person that you're married to, is the wrong person? Maybe you made the wrong choice right? That kind of thing is a lie. We hear people questioning whether it's real or not all the time. But Jesus says this in his I Am statement from John 10, 9, I'm the gate. Whoever enters through me is going to be saved. They will come in and go out and find pasture.

Speaker 2:

Last week on Vows to Keep Radio, we went through the first three I Am statements and we taught that there are four points in each one. There's, first of all, an invitation. Secondly, there's an action that we're called to take. Third, there's a promise to us when we take that action and that's a sweet thing. And then, fourth, there's a warning of what happens when we don't. And in this I Am statement, the invitation is to whoever it's open to anyone To enter through Jesus is to believe in him as a son of god, to trust him as your good shepherd, which is the next I am statement that we're going to be discussing in a few minutes here. The shepherd calls and we answer by following him. He invites us to partake of the good provisions that he has for us, the good pastor that's awaiting us, it's there for the taking. That is the promise part of this.

Speaker 2:

But verse 10 gives us part of the warning. It says the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. He's a stand-in and he definitely doesn't have the sheep's best interest in mind. In fact, jesus says in verse eight anyone who offers you some sort of a cheap substitute are thieves and robbers. So if you're today asking the question is this person who I should be married to? Well, of course Satan is trying to tempt you to consider that very question, but Jesus would say no, this is the person that you've married. Don't try to enter through any other door.

Speaker 3:

Jesus loves us enough to not only give us the promise but also the warning. And I think the other part of that promise, david, is that through Jesus, we will be two things we'll be saved and satisfied. And the warning is, if we take another door, if we listen to another voice, that will be robbed and killed by the enemy. Our marriages aren't going to be able to feast on that good pastor that Jesus has provided for us when we go outside of his protection and we choose our own way. Not long ago I broke my arm and during the recovery process I couldn't really cook. Have you ever tried to hold an onion with one hand and cut it at the same time? It just does not happen. Or stir a pan of meat, or stir a pot of soup.

Speaker 2:

Or crack an egg.

Speaker 3:

I could not cook for my family. It was so awesome during that time to have people step up and bring all kinds of things to our house chicken and noodles, we had Mexican casseroles. We had food coming out of our ears. We were so generously provided for. We were fulfilled in that time. In this trial because it certainly was a trial we were able to rest and feel loved rather than trying to scramble, trying to provide for ourselves. You know pizza one night, subs the next. You know how it goes when you can't cook. But it is so tempting to take matters into our own hands, to go outside the sheepfold to provide for ourselves.

Speaker 2:

And for many this comes in looking outside their marriage for things that they should be looking inside their marriage for God's provided for all of the sexual needs that we have as a married couple. Yet how many times have we been tempted by pornography, or tempted by someone who is just emotionally very in tune with us when our spouse doesn't feel like they are? Who's been tempted to spend money without their spouse knowing about it, as if they were going to try to get ahead for themselves? We don't realize, when we're doing this, that we are making a terrible exchange, one that compromises the promise.

Speaker 3:

You're so right, david. I think it does compromise the promise, when we go out of that pasture, that God provided for us. The thing is, we can keep our salvation, but we trade the satisfaction the lush riches, if you will of what God offers when we do things his way for what the thief or the robber offers. It's tempting to make that trade, though, because he lures us and we walk through his door only to find our marriage has been stolen from, it's been killed and it's about to be destroyed.

Speaker 2:

So if you find yourself unsatisfied in your life, in your marriage, watch out, because what quickly follows is a leaving of the pasture. We're all sinfully inclined to seek satisfaction outside of what God provides. A full, abundant life is what John 10.10 says that Jesus is offering. So are you making a trade? Are you being robbed right in front of your own face? What would tempt you to go outside of that pasture? Jesus made a trade too, one that bought for us salvation.

Speaker 2:

The next I am statement of Jesus comes in the next verse of this same chapter. Keeping with the same theme, jesus says in John 10, 11, I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. We read on in verse 14, I know my own sheep and I know they know me. I sacrifice my life for the sheep. Just as God's invitation to enter through him and him alone is based on belief and trust, your trust in Jesus as your good shepherd is evidenced by the choices that you make. Someone that knows they've got a trusty car in their garage is not going to walk around and do a 15-point inspection every time they're getting ready to use it. No, they're just going to jump in, turn the key and go. This means that you trust that car to be reliable. You're not tempted to go, look and maybe consider riding your bike simply because you're not sure the car will get you there.

Speaker 3:

Trust you, david. To use a car analogy, I love it. Well, I'm going to use a house cleaning analogy, because that's a big part of my life, right? So a busy mom who has a cleaning lady is going to let her scrub the floors. She's going to trust her enough to do a good job. She's not going to go in after her and try to get all the spots that she missed.

Speaker 2:

And you just wish you had a cleaning lady.

Speaker 3:

I do wish I had a cleaning lady. That'd be great. So let's relate this back to marriage and to our good shepherd. Are you taking matters into your own hands in your marriage? Do you have separate finances? So, just in case you've got something to fall back on, you're placing your trust in that.

Speaker 2:

Are you seeking sexual pleasures that are outside of your marriage relationship? Is it something which shows you don't trust that God will provide for you through your spouse? Maybe you've got a friendship with your spouse that you're not sure is good enough, and so you've reached for more friendships outside your marriage.

Speaker 3:

A lot of times there's those arguments within a marriage between a husband and a wife, and you feel like you have to win because if you don't, you're not going to get your way or they're not going to respect you. There's something you're after in that argument. Rather than treating your spouse with respect and letting your good shepherd give you what you need as a result of your conversation with your spouse, we can even keep our distance from our spouse to protect ourselves, thinking that if we've got a good handle of control on things, we're the ones setting the boundaries, we're the ones setting the limits that we're going to be provided for.

Speaker 2:

So let's consider the invitation here. The invitation in this I am statement is to be known and to know. Jesus says I know my sheep. The action is, of course, to trust, to believe that Jesus cares enough to provide exactly what we need, and I'm not talking about exactly what Satan would try to convince us that we need. The promise is that we belong to him and that he provides for us so much that the very first gift he gave us was his own life.

Speaker 2:

The warning comes from the next verse. This is in verse 12. It says the hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Sounds just like the Satan. I know the sheep were trusting the hired hand, but then push comes to shove and guess what he doesn't protect like the shepherd would have. So the warning for us in our marriage is that what we put our trust in can abandon us if it's not Jesus Christ. What do I mean by that?

Speaker 2:

Well, let's talk about what it means to have separate finances. Guess how hard it is to be God-glorifying in a marriage with separate finances. It has ruined every marriage I've ever seen it played out in. What happens when you seek self-gratification and sexual pleasure outside your marriage? Well, guess what? It ruins that relationship. What happens when you put the distance that Tracy was talking about between you and your wife or you and your husband, to try to protect yourself? Well guess what you do? You ruin your marriage. We've got to go back to the invitation. We've got to know and be known, and when we know God more, we trust him more. When we trust, we let him know us. We want him to be aware of our needs and we believe that he will provide.

Speaker 1:

If you have a marriage question, please email questions at vowstokeepcom. Vows to Keep will respond to you via email and perhaps use it on the air. Now let's rejoin Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy Sellers.

Speaker 3:

The opposite of belief, which is what we're called to here, david, I think in some cases, is insecurity and insecurity. We either hold God or our spouse at arm's length. In insecurity, we tend to shy away from letting our spouse give us what we need. We don't let our good shepherd give us what we need either, and lack of belief causes us to want to hide because we don't trust right. So we hide our sin, we hide our failings, we hide our thoughts, we hide our true feelings. We think we're giving ourselves a leg up in our marriage when we hide. But what we really need is to be known, because when we're known we can be authentic. When we're known, we can be provided for. When we allow the walls to come down, we no longer feel that need to protect ourselves and Jesus reveals himself as the protector, as the shepherd, the one who would leave the 99 to search for us and bring us back into the shelter of his arms.

Speaker 3:

But this feels so opposite of what we think we should do. It really comes down to a matter of trust. That's our action. In this, I am statement Are we going to believe? A wall between us and God is really the best way to recognize if we have an insecurity with our Savior, do we trust him to provide us salvation and what we need here to have life abundantly? And a wall between you and your spouse is also the best way to recognize that a trust in your good shepherd will allow you to want to be known by your spouse to bring hidden things out into the light, because you trust your shepherd to provide for you, even in your spouse's response to bringing those hidden things out.

Speaker 2:

Let me give just a really practical example. A very large percentage of the couples that we counsel with, we find the husband has had an issue or is having an issue with pornography and of course, it's something he's done everything he possibly can to hide from his wife. Well, what does God's word ask us to do? It asks us to bring those things out into the light, and the purpose behind that isn't to make that sin okay or to acknowledge it and just say well, whatever it's, because God has made your wife your best ally in defeating and overcoming the temptations that Satan throws out there for us.

Speaker 3:

What this means as a wife is you've got to recognize your role in the hands of the good shepherd. He has placed you specifically in your spouse's life to provide for him in that way, in a way that only you can.

Speaker 2:

And you know, in every marriage counseling session we have, we find this is a two-directional thing. I'm using this example because I know there's someone listening today who's struggling with this very issue in their marriage, but I assure you it goes in both directions, constantly and consistently, and that's how God has designed marriage to be. We are there to help each other through the sanctification process, and not being known prevents you from ever having the help that he would offer through your spouse.

Speaker 3:

What you're saying there, david, is that we can emulate our good shepherd. See, in verse three here of John 10, we see the good shepherd calling his own sheep by name and pay special attention to this phrase he leads them out, leads them out. He doesn't force the sheep to go, he's not driving them somewhere. He proceeds first to prepare the way for them. He never asks his sheep to go somewhere that he hasn't first gone. He leads the way for us by laying down his very life. You and I are called to do the same, going after our spouse who has wandered outside the fold. They've been seeking pasture outside the security and the intimacy of your marriage, and you know it. Will you leave the 99 things on your agenda or your 99 preferences to bring them back and be used by God to provide for them? Will you do that or are you going to hide? The question to you today is are you going to let your good shepherd provide for you in your marriage? Will you let him lead you away from the enemy's attacks and into his perfect pasture of provision? Think about Psalm 23,. Our good shepherd making us lie down in green pastures, leading us beside the still waters. He's with us. He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies, and goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our life as we dwell in the house of the Lord forever. That Psalm speaks life again and again. He leads, he restores, he's with us, he comforts us. We flourish even when the enemy threatens to overtake. And he leads with his goodness and mercy following it's life, life, life only found in Christ. Life, life, life only found in Christ. And in John 11, 25 and 26, jesus states I am the resurrection and the life. This is the sixth, I am statement that we're studying here in this series. He says he who believes in me will live even though he dies. Whoever lives and believes in me will never die. The invitation here is to whoever every single one of us can take Jesus as our resurrection and our life. The action is to believe in him and live in him, and the promise is that we'll live and never die if we do so. And the warning is if we don't believe in Jesus as our life and our resurrection, we will spiritually die without him.

Speaker 3:

And I think this passage is so important, david, because just understanding or focusing on the gospel in part is going to limit our personal spiritual growth and our marital growth. Let me explain. I think the whole story needs to be understood at a heart level because Jesus yes, he certainly did die on the cross and we don't want to skip over that. But there's much more to the story. But in order to understand the other parts of the gospel, we got to start with Jesus' death first, and here is what his sacrifice on the cross did for us.

Speaker 3:

Romans 6, 3 says all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death. Verse 6 says our old self was crucified with him. Praise God for that right, in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. So the cross here is so important to our life and even our marriage relationship, because in the cross of Jesus Christ, as we put our faith in him, our old self dies and we're no longer a slave to sin. We are spiritually dead and alive to Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3:

Romans 6, 8 says since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. So you've heard about new life in Christ. Well, this is it, not only eternal life, not only what Jesus did on the cross, paying the punishment that we deserve. But because he is risen, we have that new life in Christ, and this is the part of the gospel I want to focus on with you today that Jesus saying I am the resurrection and the life. Verse 11 of Romans 8 says the Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. Don't miss that important point today.

Speaker 2:

You're right, tracy. We're not only promised eternal life. Because of this, I am statement. The power that raised Jesus up from death to life is exactly what lives in you, and I Now get that through your head. That is so hard for me to consume. Take that home with you today. Let it transform your marriage. Let it transform this hour right now, by understanding that the Holy Spirit, which is the gift of his presence that we studied about last week, is within you. It's giving you the power to say no to sin and yes to righteousness.

Speaker 2:

Romans 6 reminds us to consider ourselves dead to sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. So no longer am I a slave to this sin, but now I can seek righteousness. Now imagine how that pays off in your marriage. The last I am statement is how we do that. Jesus says in John 15, 5,. I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from him, though, we can do nothing. We don't have a righteousness apart from Christ's life, death and resurrection. We don't have a hope in our marriage apart from Christ's life, death and resurrection, but through him and remaining in him and allowing him to know us as we seek to know him. We have life abundantly and marriages abundantly too.

Speaker 3:

We have that abundant life because we share in Christ's resurrected life. Romans 6.10 says that when he died, he died once to break the power of sin, but now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God, and that's our calling today as well to live for the glory of God. And we can do that as we stay attached to the vine. So what's the invitation here? In this last I am statement of Jesus? He says I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing. So the invitation is if you. He is inviting all of us to stay attached, to believe in him. And then the action to remain in him. How do we remain in Christ? We've talked in detail about this in a past Vows to Keep radio show on legalism. I would encourage you to listen to that, but let me give it to you in short here. We remain in Jesus Christ as we obey the Father's commands. And what is his command? He says love each other in the same way that I have loved you. It goes right back to us emulating our good shepherd, us going out after the one who has left the safety of the pasture. And we can do that because we know we're no longer fearful slaves. We're not trying to earn God's love. We've been adopted, we are part of his family. Someone who's part of a family doesn't try to escape that love. They invest, they're intentional and they remain part of that family.

Speaker 3:

Romans 8.15 says the Spirit himself testifies, with our spirit, that we are God's children. That's what we talked about a few minutes ago, that the resurrection of Christ gave us that promised Holy Spirit. And now we're part of the family of God. And Romans chapter 8 continues in verse 17. Now if we are children, then we are heirs. We're heirs of God, we're co-heirs with Christ. We are part of him, he is part of us. We are attached to the vine. The promise out of this I am statement is that we will bear much fruit when we are attached to the vine, and the warning is that we will accomplish nothing if we forget where we are positionally in Christ. We are dead to sin, we are alive to Jesus Christ. When we forget that we are part of Christ's family, then we start to try to earn God's favor and when we do that we become disattached from the vine right away. The law is powerless to do that. It says in Romans 8, 3, it's powerless to keep us attached.

Speaker 2:

He's not just offering a good door to walk through today. He's not just appointing a hired hand to keep watch over you. He is the door, he is the good shepherd he offers you and your marriage himself. That is the gift and the promise that we have today in the I Am statements of Jesus. The gift and the promise that we have today and the I Am statements of Jesus.

Speaker 3:

So recognize that you have new life in Christ. Study these, I Am, statements of Jesus and join us next week as we continue in our Bible for Marriage series, as we study the parable of the sower for marriage from Mark, chapter four.

Speaker 1:

Vows to Keep is supported by a team which includes biblical coaches, writers and pastoral advisors. If you have a desire to serve marriages in your community, we would love to hear from you. Vows to Keep is a not-for-profit marriage ministry designed to bring God's encouraging truth to the marriages of our area. As a not-for-profit organization, our commitment to Christlike marriages includes providing much-needed services, regardless of a couple's financial ability to offset the cost of Vows to Keep operations. If you are unable to donate your time or abilities, but would like to help support Vows to Keep financially, visit VowsToKeepcom and click on the donate link. This program is sponsored by Vows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio.

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David Sellars

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Tracy Sellars

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